Log Kya Kahenge!

The medieval era was dominated by the thinkers. Thinkers who were a combination of philosophy and revolution and who gave one inspirational quote after another so that we can blatantly copy them on our Facebook timelines and get people to like them. Thinkers of those times were revered by a few while some labelled them idiots for their thinking. But they couldn’t care less.

The modern era is dominated by the ‘over-thinkers.’ If I ever had the privilege to define that term for the Oxford Dictionary, I would define it as: “A bunch of people blessed with inordinate powers to analyze things that others usually ignore. Their thoughts are usually remote-controlled by the expected reaction from the masses.” To sum up in one sentence, they suffer from the LKK (Log Kya Kahenge) syndrome.

The eating area in ‘Westside’ is a place where my brother and I find solace while our sister is on her ‘outfit exploration’ mission. One fine day while munching on an elitist Samosa, (Yes, it had one piece of cashew accommodated into its stuffing) the girl stomped upstairs and yelled in front of 10 other ‘bhukkads.’

“I hate you guys!” she screamed while we were too busy deciding how to split that one piece of cashew. When we did pay attention, she narrated her story which was sadder than any of Nicholas Sparks’ novels. “The jacket that I was wearing, I had the price tag all along!” Tragically, before gracing Westside with our presence, we took a detour to the Kala Ghoda festival. “So many people at that festival would have seen it! They would now be laughing at me. Even the storekeeper who pointed this out was smiling.”

Ofcourse, for the 5,000 odd people at the festival, she was their Kala Ghoda, for whom they waited with bated breath, just to catch a glimpse of her in that tagged jacket. The rest of the evening was spent sulking. The fact that my brother and I derived sadistic pleasure is a given.

Another instance involves a friend cum colleague who thought more than Vishwanathan Anand ever did during a game of chess when she was invited to our post-budget success party. Is it okay if I come? I barely know them, what will they think? Will they think that I’m here just for free booze? When I answered a ‘NO’ to all her questions while simultaneously smashing my head against the wall, she retorted, “Why are you getting irritated? I just asked you one simple question?” Mathematics died another brutal death.

It is unfortunate that out actions are not governed by the result it would fetch us but the reaction that we would receive from the people. I am pretty sure that those people who always have their unwanted words of wisdom to share will not pick us up when we fall, not pay our bills, and not comfort us when we need to be, so why take it so seriously? LKK has destroyed ambition, shattered hope, broken hearts and done everything that humanity today doesn’t need. If only the right people suffered from LKK, Uday Chopra would not have been an actor.

I had a secret to share. But I won’t. Log Kya Kahenge!